Sisterhood Is Rebellion. Solidarity Is Survival.

PHOTOGRAPHY FROM BERNARD GOTFRYD

— REPUBLISHED FROM LETTERS FROM NOMFUNDO

This is not a gentle conversation. This is not a polite debate. This is a warning. If you are comfortable with how women are treated in this world, it is because you have chosen comfort over truth. I am not here to comfort you. I am here to name the system, expose its builders, and declare why women must stop waiting for men to tear it down.

Culture was not born. It was built.

For thousands of years, men have been the architects. They built laws, rituals, and norms to protect their power and control. Culture is not a reflection of humanity. It is a mould designed to shape who we become. When we look at what men have normalized, it is no accident. It is a carefully drawn blueprint of entitlement.

In India, the law still says a husband cannot rape his wife no matter her age no matter her screams. In 2024 when lawmakers debated finally calling marital rape what it is they chose to protect men’s entitlement instead. Men’s rights groups filled the streets and social media demanding that marital harmony not be disturbed. Imagine the silence inside countless homes where women suffer in the shadows trapped by a law that grants a man ownership over her body. This is not an anomaly. It is the blueprint of male power. The same blueprint shapes Japan’s legal age of consent at thirteen until just two years ago the same blueprint that allows little girls to be married off and raped in countries across Africa and the Middle East. These laws were written not to protect the vulnerable but to preserve male control. They tell women their pain is less than a man’s right.

In South Africa the age of consent is sixteen but culture still blames fifteen-year-old girls for their own exploitation. The Reed Dance brought back in 1991 forces young unmarried girls to undergo virginity tests in front of entire communities paraded before men who judge their worth with eyes that do not see humans but trophies. Imagine a girl barely a child standing exposed her body measured and debated while elders and leaders watch celebrating what they call honour but is really control disguised as tradition. iLobola the bride price reduces women to property cattle exchanged between men a price tag slapped on autonomy and freedom.This is the soil in which South Africa’s gender-based violence grows. It is no accident. It is a harvest sown by culture law and silence.

Our justice system is not a blind scale weighing truth and fairness. It is a machine designed by men crafted to protect men. The laws that separate statutory rape from real rape were written to soften the blow on male perpetrators. Convicting a rapist in this system feels like climbing a mountain with your hands tied every step met with resistance doubt and excuses. When the media profiles these men they sound less like criminals and more like tragic heroes whose promising futures were cut short. Meanwhile survivors are silenced their pain dismissed as inconvenient or exaggerated. Imagine a woman standing alone in a courtroom where the judge jury and system all seem to ask why she did not scream louder why she did not fight harder why her body was somehow complicit. This is not justice. It is a betrayal.

PHOTOGRAPHY FROM BETTYE LANE

Rape is worse than murder. Murder can be justified in self-defense war or revolution. Rape has no justification. It is an act without honour or necessity. It steals safety trust and the right to one’s own body. Murder kills once.

Men’s culture is not broken. It is working exactly as designed. If women’s bodies are no longer collateral damage in male bonding the entire design must burn.

The cruel truth is men have no incentive to change. There is always a woman willing to accept their behaviour. Most men do not change they simply move on to someone more accepting. Unless women collectively raise their standards men have free licence to act with impunity.

Knowing this, the only logical conclusion is that men will not change anytime soon. Misogyny is woven into culture. Women must change for our survival, safety and sanity. We must become fierce and trust our instincts because ignoring them is dangerous. Be vigilant about who surrounds your child even family. Abandon the fantasy that men will change. Treat every man as a potential threat.

This is not about denying anyone’s sexuality. It is about survival. Being strict with boundaries will save your life. It lets you spot the small signs before they explode. One of the most powerful lessons I have learned is to prioritise my safety over others’ opinions. Too often women are conditioned to suppress survival instincts by people who will ultimately harm them. Men do not hold the keys to women’s safety. Research shows women are far more likely to intervene when another woman is in danger.

Women must build solidarity with each other no questions asked just like men do. When a popular South African celebrity was accused of rape men on social media instantly defended him without knowing his name or the facts. That is the solidarity men show for each other even for rapists. That is the solidarity women must build. No defending rapists no dating abusers.

When women unite their voices grow louder. Female solidarity is a weapon because most men are too busy protecting predators. Girls protect girls not because they like each other but because it means survival. If she is drunk and alone with men she leaves with me.

Women often resist solidarity because they hold each other accountable. Men show solidarity because they refuse accountability. They shield each other’s egos. What looks like loyalty is really denial of responsibility. Women are the last line of defence for women and children.

Sisterhood is the most dangerous threat to patriarchy which is why women are kept divided. But when girls unite that becomes the first crack in the system. Support is rebellion. Solidarity is power. Matriarchy begins there.

The world we live in was built on the backs and bodies of women. If we want a future where safety respect and freedom are not privileges but rights we cannot wait for men to rewrite the rules. Women must take the lead. We must demand more than protection we must demand transformation. Trust your instincts. Stand fierce. Build unbreakable solidarity. When women rise together the walls of patriarchy begin to crumble. This is not just survival. This is revolution. And it starts with us.